Building Better Relationships Through Tarot

By Allan Ritchie

Cups03

                                                                              3 of Cups from the Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot



I don't know what the very first question ever asked of a tarot reader was                       but I would put good money that it was about a relationship. To say that relationships are complex is a simplistic description of one of the essential realities of life here on this planet. Each of us exists here because of a relationship. The genetic connection of different cells from two individuals have come together to create a third. It seems that from the very moment of conception we experience a drive and a lingering need to form, cultivate, and engage in relationships. With relationships being a part of our primary experience in life many have needed help and look for support in developing healthy relationships. Then it is not surprising that the Tarot has been used to explore these complicated aspects of the human experience.


The mundane world may wonder what good can come from a Tarot consultation about a relationship. Yet we know that there are several ways of pulling a few cards that can help those looking for insight. One of the values of a Tarot consultation is that it can give a client an objective perspective. Within a tarot reading, there are avenues of investigation that seem pretty obvious but there are others that might not be so straightforward. Of course, a good reader takes into consideration what the client wants from the reading when they determine how to proceed. There are heaps of spreads that have been created specifically for a relationship reading and even generic spreads can be used to look into a relationship. Therefore I want to look at Tarot's ability to give the querent a safe space to explore aspects of being in a healthy relationship.


A tarot reading is a safe place to explore natural vulnerabilities and fears. There are emotional rollercoasters in relationships and the risks of being hurt are considerable. A strong mutual relationship is built and strives for intimacy and trust. The weak relationships can crack under the pressure of doubt and fear. The tarot consultation gives the client a safe space to explore those vulnerabilities without judgment. Clients who come with questions are sensitive and a good reading allows them the chance to truthfully and honestly look at issues in the relationship. If a reading doesn't give the freedom to be honest then it will be a waste of time. Looking clearly at the challenges in a relationship is the first step to working to improve it. Freedom during a reading to state what a client wants from the relationship enables them to work to pursue it. A tarot reading can give a client a chance to speak out that desire specifically. Remember to give your client the chance to express these goals and needs from a relationship. We can be the conduit to allow them permission to speak what they want so that they can be honest with their partners. A tarot reading can be a freeing experience by unshackling the client from the power of fear and holding on to secrets.


Tarot can show how a relationship is a gift. We pursue a meaningful connection with others because of what good they can bring to our lives. When clients come to us for help then it is normally at times when relationships are not going as well as they had hoped. Taking a moment to see how the relationship is a blessing to the client can give the reading a foundation. Seeing what is of worth in the personal connection can give the reading the motivation to continue to do the work to improve and sustain the connection. Now it is a simple fact that not all relationships are healthy and empowering and the gift may be tough to see. A relationship is a give and take among its members. What does the client gain from the relationship? A reading can remind what a client receives in the relationship. What doesn't the client give to the relationship? It is also meaningful to understand what the client gives to a relationship. Every relationship takes work and there are times when it is more give than take. Appreciation for the gift of a current relationship is a good reminder.


When we offer our cards, time, and ability to a client we must be on their team. They are looking to us for help and to improve their connection with their partners. We are looking for ways that they can achieve the goals that they have for their lives and what they want to accomplish. Tarot reader's want to help their clients. Clients should feel the freedom to explore, examine, and consider. What a great forum a tarot reading can be to brainstorm ideas for what a relationship needs next or what from the past needs to be reignited. Solutions and progress come from asking the question of what can be and what can be improved. At times a tarot reading is a serious contemplation of fact but there are also times when it is a playful romp into imagination or journey of open thinking. We can give the seeker the chance to say yes to their own heart's longings.


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